Don't let him go to the bar anymore.  Every time I go to the bar, I drink and pee a lot too.

It's not the first one that bothers me so much.  It's the last one that got me so upset.  That was supposed to be mine for breakfast.  And where did the darn pancakes go?

Is she short and stout?  Can you locate her handle?  Can you locate her spout?

If the pepperoni was spicy, hes going to be thinking hes pooping lava.

I'm no mathematician but I would have to say your cat is thirsty.

I saw a documentary about prison rape awhile ago and they talked about "tossing a salad".  I hope it's nothing like that.