Would you be annoyed if the hostess of a potluck asked you to leave the meat out of a dish because of 2 vegetarians? There will be a total of 18 attending.

I'm don't eat beef or pork but I absolutely dislike  it when I go to dinner parties and I find out they have modified the menu for me. I find it embarrassing and I'm not one to get embarressed easily....For some reason that's one of the few things that does it :) I'm good with just eating the side dishes which usually are vegetarian. So anyway my point is .. Don't resent  the vegetarian... Resent the host who is being over accommodating to the minority !!  And just make your dish as you normally would. The vegan can eat the sides and like it ! Oh and they get dessert to so they're all good.

Yes, I'd be annoyed. If I was a vegetarian and going to a potluck, I'd make my own dish, and eat whatever else was there without meat. I sure wouldn't expect a completely vegetarian spread.

I'd be mad. If you prefer to eat vegetarian and you are in the great minority, supply your own food or pick the meat out.

Yep. I don't eat Shellfish. I simply eat something else or eat before I come and eat dessert with everyone. I never make a big deal about it.

I would be upset. Why should 16 people have to suffer because of two? I would then make my dish with extra meat and with bacon bits sprinkled across the top!

Yes I would . If she needs a vegetarian dish all she needs to do is ask and I will whip up something to go with it but don't mess with my original recipe .

If I am making a signature dish and they ask that, most definitely. I would most likely make my dish as usual and make a smaller portion without the meat, I don't eat beef and I can usually find plenty to eat without eating it at any function.

Now I do have to make dessert for Easter Sunday and I can't use strawberries because I have a family member who is allergic. It has been driving me nuts! I finally found something today. A cake with M&Ms in the middle, 

When I was younger, I was always pretty accommodating with regards to other people's needs because I have a pretty high respect for what other people are, do, and feel.

As I've gotten older, while I do still have that respect, unless someone else's need falls into the "emergency" category, I tend to assume that my needs are more "worthy" of being accommodated by others.

You might say my "boundaries" are extended further than they used to be.

You've told her no and she persists on wanting you to change your recipe to accommodate two people - I would be just as irritated as you are. As others have stated, just taking the ham out is not going to satisfy the vegetarians as the meat and juices have already touched the other ingredients.

It's really unfortunate that she couldn't have found a nicer way to say what she wanted. When planning the meal and mapping out who was bringing what, it would have been at this point appropriate to say - I've got a couple of vegetarians that are coming - does anyone have any thoughts how to address this need? OK - you and Sue will bring a couple of dishes - excellent. Great - who's bringing pie?

Instead she emailed, you declined, she persisted in sending another email - you fumed and wanted to bonk her on the head with a frying pan.

She's family so you have to consider your response to her - but she's being pushy making it really hard to bite your tongue.

I would make your dish as initially agreed. If she says something, you can say - Oh, I thought you were going to modify some of your dishes to accommodate Bill and Karen. My bad. And walk away. But that's just me.